borlandia: (jason)
This weekend was a bit epic.

Saturday I drove over to the girlfriend's place. She was stressed out as all hell from schoolwork. She relented she wanted to do "something, anything" and even though it was cold out, we walked through Seattle, got coffee, and just tried to stay warm.

We then went to see the Lego Batman movie only to see it was sold out. I recommended we go home and watch "Hell or High Water" since we'd both wanted to see that. She had the idea of making nachos for dinner and since we were watching a Jeff Bridges movie, making White Russians to pay tribute to "The Dude".

We ended up getting pretty bombed, so that was fun.

She left Sunday AM to drive her mother to the airport. I went to meet Devin for brunch. We drank fruity drinks, ate, and then went to a few bars. Got fairly drunk again, and at some point I invited my sister out to the last place we were at - she had sent me a "what are you up to this weekend?" text a few days before where I told her what I was doing and got no response.

She showed up and things went OK for the most part. Devin had to leave to take care of his baby so we said our goodbyes.

My sister then said she was willing to drive me back and save me an Uber/Lyft fare, she just had to stop and get dinner for her husband.

That's when it got weird.

My sister has a brutal combination of lupus and narcolepsy. It's a pretty terrible struggle, but you can't have any conversation with her without it turning into a huge pity party.

I don't recollect exactly how it went down...but it started to head down that road, and I think I just gave her sort of the "tough love" approach. I was drunk, and just not in the mood. I don't think I said anything overly inflammatory, but it got bad. She was borderline-shouting at me in the middle of this Mexican restaurant, telling me I'm a worthless piece of shit, the worst person she knows, I'm gonna die alone, blah blah blah

I didn't take the bait. I took the Jeff Lebowski, "yeah, well that's just your opinion, man" approach, and continued to throw back beers while she ranted against me.

At one point she got up to use the bathroom, at which point I texted my mother and advised that it looked like my sister might give me the "death penalty" - she routinely does this, completely cuts people out of her life when things don't go well, she's done it to a handful of family members and friends, and has stayed somewhat committed to it - she came back from the bathroom, and while my phone was sitting at the table, my mother texted me back. My sister demanded to know what she said to me, and I pretty much told her it's an A and B conversation, so C your way out. She didn't care much for that and continued her manifesto on how I'm lower than rat shit, yada yada yada.

We finally got our to go order and she still wanted to drive my worthless ass back. Halfway there she started sobbing out of control. I apologized for being so cavalier about things and that although I came off like a douche, she's still my sister, my only sibling, and I want the best for her...I just leveled with her and explained dealing with her is mentally/emotionally exhausting and since I'm already a sad guy, it's natural for me to just avoid her. I wasn't being an asshole, just being honest (I guess).

She finally dropped me off. I struggled to sleep last night. I hadn't been that upset about that shit-show, but I had a lot of anxiety and I could feel it in my chest and shoulders. I still feel it now, just not as much. I finally took a walk around 11 PM. My girlfriend asked that I not go because she didn't feel it was ultra-safe at that time of night, but the walk helped, and it turned out there were more cops out than just regular people.

Was finally able to crash after midnight.

My sister deactivated her Facebook this morning. This is a win for everyone.

Thinking of going to see "Lion" tonight. I hear it's good.
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borlandia: (Default)

May 2017

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