Crash burn, when will I learn?

The last 24 hours have been very very interesting.

Weekend Plans Killed #1: Jake drama gets worse. I'm not going to his party. I'm not going to waste everyone's time.

Weekend Plans Killed #2: Ryan has to work all Memorial Day weekend. Santa Barbara trip more or less cancelled.

Let's see...went and saw Star Wars. It was pretty good. The dialogue as usual was pretty bad. Action was cool and it was really really dramatic. Definitely way better than the first 2 prequels. Samuel L. Jackson looked like he had a stiff back or something during the saber duels. Still a good movie though, and thanks to Hope for supplying tickets. Went to IHOP afterwards and had a decent breakfast.

Came back around 7 feeling alert despite pulling the all nighter. Studied about an hour and a half. Figured I'll catch a few Z's before class, so I set my alarm clock for 9:30 so I could get up and go an hour early pre-midterm.

Alarm didn't go off. I slept through my midterm.

I mean this is as big of a total disaster as they come. I had a 95% in that class. Now even if I get a perfect score on my final, the best I can do is a C-. I mean I was really doing well in that class. This absolutely annhilates my GPA for the quarter. I'm probably going to end up re-taking that class now. I can't even fucking believe this happened. I spent so much time studying for this test so I could try and keep my A. This is just one more mess I got myself into. Bringing the wrong scantron to a test soph year and getting a 27% for my efforts despite having 85% of the material right. Being in a class that doesn't give + and - and being one point off from a B. One multiple choice test question away from a 3.0 as opposed to a 2.0. This just goes to show you: success is not meant for me. I always manage to do something to mess things up.

Anyway, as you've probably guessed, I didn't take it well. I emailed my professor telling her what happened, and said I know you can't give me a makeup but I was hoping maybe we could work out some sort of option with my grades. My T/A wrote me asking why she didn't have a test from me, and when I told her she said she was really sorry, that I was "such a good student", told me it was "something that could happen to anyone", and that she hoped it "wouldn't ruin my weekend".

I've been in a catatonic state all day. I just sat and stared at the wall for about 2 hours straight. I didn't go take a shower or even leave my room until a couple hours ago. I'm kinda gaining conciousness back right now, but everything I try doing makes me feel like shit. I probably would have cut myself again if I could have managed to get my ass out of my chair.

Bad stretch. I'm sure there's several out there celebrating my misery. I love you too.