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Catching up to me and all my broken luck
Oct. 22nd, 2005 02:43 amIt's a strange feeling I'm in right now. I don't feel good, I don't really feel bad. I just feel kind of....strange. I'm really not sure of anything in my life right now.
Everyone seems to be bragging lately. It seems to be a good time in everyone's life...something I'm kind of lacking. It's not really a bad time, I just wish I could talk about how awesome my classes or my grades or my job or internship is. I don't really have any of that. I feel like I'm way behind, yet I don't really care. I don't really give a rat's ass. A lot of people I know are going to do research and shit. I couldn't do research. I'd rather teach high school than do research any day. Easily. Research is so dull. I've talked to at least 2 professors who equated research to a prison sentence (no, I'm not kidding, they really used prison references). That's not anything I can get excited about. Never.
I've always said I'd be comfortable in an apartment the rest of my life as long as I have enough money to get by and I'm happy. I don't care about money...if I cared about money I would have taken that 50-70 hour/week internship that they were ready to just hand me. It's not the case at all.
Everything else is just kinda muddy. I can't really tell who is happy with me and who isn't. I feel like my communication skills are really lacking...ok, well maybe not communication skills. Maybe I just haven't been as open to discussion as I should be lately.
Anyway, it's pretty late. I have to do some form of music rehearsal tomorrow and I want to watch college football and study at some point. Ah, well. It's Saturday. We can drink booze, if we wanna.
Everyone seems to be bragging lately. It seems to be a good time in everyone's life...something I'm kind of lacking. It's not really a bad time, I just wish I could talk about how awesome my classes or my grades or my job or internship is. I don't really have any of that. I feel like I'm way behind, yet I don't really care. I don't really give a rat's ass. A lot of people I know are going to do research and shit. I couldn't do research. I'd rather teach high school than do research any day. Easily. Research is so dull. I've talked to at least 2 professors who equated research to a prison sentence (no, I'm not kidding, they really used prison references). That's not anything I can get excited about. Never.
I've always said I'd be comfortable in an apartment the rest of my life as long as I have enough money to get by and I'm happy. I don't care about money...if I cared about money I would have taken that 50-70 hour/week internship that they were ready to just hand me. It's not the case at all.
Everything else is just kinda muddy. I can't really tell who is happy with me and who isn't. I feel like my communication skills are really lacking...ok, well maybe not communication skills. Maybe I just haven't been as open to discussion as I should be lately.
Anyway, it's pretty late. I have to do some form of music rehearsal tomorrow and I want to watch college football and study at some point. Ah, well. It's Saturday. We can drink booze, if we wanna.
