Blood blood everywhere
Apr. 26th, 2005 01:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
borlandiaToday I was just all over the place emotionally. I've been off any sort of medication for months now nor do I care to re-take any again. I determined that there's no one or nothing that can help myself besides just plain ol' me.
I was really freaking out in chem. I was just like holy shit what the hell am I doing with my life? I was just tripping out and thinking all over the place about all this bad stuff. I finally caved and went back to the one vice which has been my last resort...cloves. Got some, and I needed them too it seems. Did a few of them and it felt pretty good. I hate the face that I actually use them to counteract negative emotion, but for now it works and someday when I'm older and wiser I'm sure I'll be able to manage the addiction a little easier.
I also got kinda weird today about my hearing loss today. Lately it's become really pronounced. I notice when I play my iPod and stuff I can hear stuff well only in the right ear and there's jack shit getting into the left ear. I notice it constantly, this past year or so. It's definitely gone down a notch. I feel like it's something I'm never going to get back and I'll never know what it's like to be able to hear completely normally. I'll probably need an aid pretty soon I imagine, once they figure out how bad it really is.
Today was a busy day where I didn't get accomplished what I needed to, which makes tomorrow that much more hectic. Good job Keith.
The Sox and the Celtics....shit. Today was just plain pathetic for both of them. I'm actually watching the Sox game tomorrow so they better get their shit together.
Happy Birthday Ryan.
I was really freaking out in chem. I was just like holy shit what the hell am I doing with my life? I was just tripping out and thinking all over the place about all this bad stuff. I finally caved and went back to the one vice which has been my last resort...cloves. Got some, and I needed them too it seems. Did a few of them and it felt pretty good. I hate the face that I actually use them to counteract negative emotion, but for now it works and someday when I'm older and wiser I'm sure I'll be able to manage the addiction a little easier.
I also got kinda weird today about my hearing loss today. Lately it's become really pronounced. I notice when I play my iPod and stuff I can hear stuff well only in the right ear and there's jack shit getting into the left ear. I notice it constantly, this past year or so. It's definitely gone down a notch. I feel like it's something I'm never going to get back and I'll never know what it's like to be able to hear completely normally. I'll probably need an aid pretty soon I imagine, once they figure out how bad it really is.
Today was a busy day where I didn't get accomplished what I needed to, which makes tomorrow that much more hectic. Good job Keith.
The Sox and the Celtics....shit. Today was just plain pathetic for both of them. I'm actually watching the Sox game tomorrow so they better get their shit together.
Happy Birthday Ryan.
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no subject
Date: 2005-04-26 11:23 am (UTC)Doc, give me some of what he's having, the happy pills...I want it now!
no subject
Date: 2005-04-26 11:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-26 12:32 pm (UTC)I have the life spaz all the time hah, it happens. Least I have one more year to think about it though.
Awwww.
Date: 2005-04-26 03:24 pm (UTC)And I know I can't help you but I'll support you and I believe in you.
Like glue...I am stuck on ya.
Hugs!