Takin' Heed Just For You
Dec. 14th, 2018 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
borlandiaToday's been rough. I can't get past my own self-hatred.
My company holiday party is tomorrow. I can't go as I have concert tickets.
Everyone at work all day today was making plans about what they'll do before, during, after said party. I feel woefully alone as: 1. I won't be part of any of the good times, and 2. I wouldn't be part of them anyway.
It sucks. Everyone has these plans and is out doing things with other people. I lie about plans when I'm actually just doing shit by myself. I ate dinner by myself at Red Lobster night. I'm going to sleep tonight half-drunk having not even eaten dinner.
It's nobody's fault. I don't like myself and I don't like those around me much more.
Shitty.
My company holiday party is tomorrow. I can't go as I have concert tickets.
Everyone at work all day today was making plans about what they'll do before, during, after said party. I feel woefully alone as: 1. I won't be part of any of the good times, and 2. I wouldn't be part of them anyway.
It sucks. Everyone has these plans and is out doing things with other people. I lie about plans when I'm actually just doing shit by myself. I ate dinner by myself at Red Lobster night. I'm going to sleep tonight half-drunk having not even eaten dinner.
It's nobody's fault. I don't like myself and I don't like those around me much more.
Shitty.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-15 02:59 pm (UTC)