These Boring Days
Jul. 14th, 2019 08:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
borlandiaSo, what have I been up to?
It's been 5 months or so since I last posted here. I'm not sure why - I guess I just waffled in between "my feelings don't matter" and being just too lazy to get much of anything accomplished.
Work is...work. Our state director held a conference call with all management last week and said we're the worst-performing state in the West Zone (which pretty much includes every state from Texas up to the Dakotas and west of that). He was clearly ticked and mildly ranted for about 20 minutes, but said nothing constructive. No action plan, no directives, no real ideas, just a lot of superlatives in place of "do better". I guess I'll get started on that soon.
I never have any idea how well I'm doing. We're consistently being dressed down about whatever performance metric is struggling at that day and time, yet the vibe is this forced positivity that no one buys. I've been told, essentially, we're not meeting expectations at all. The work environment stinks. We can't keep anyone at this job longer than 2 years because the work is difficult and unless the office vibe is good, no one wants to work there. There's too much employment opportunity in the area to spend your days doing something that makes you unhappy.
...and then last week they gave me a bonus. Because, who the hell knows?
My health isn't great. I've gained somewhere between 10 and 15 pounds, primarily driven by my alcohol intake going up. I'm embarrassed to say that I drank 3 whole bottles of wine last night by myself, and didn't honestly get that drunk off it. I'm drinking excessively way too often, but it's my only coping mechanism. I got a massage today, which made me feel pretty good for around 90 minutes, then felt awful. Guess I should've drank more water.
My relationship is flimsy at best. She's gone to the doctor and was prescribed a new diet to help with a respiratory problem she's been having. The diet is pretty much she's not allowed to eat anything good anymore. Poultry and vegetables is pretty much the list of allowed foods. No dairy. No gluten. No carbs. No sugars. Her response to this was, and I quote, "You do most of the cooking, so you should get familiar with this." I didn't say hardly anything. What a crock of shit. I'm pretty much just going to start going out to dinner by myself and just saying I have to work late or something.
Plus, our apartment is being renovated this week which means we're going to lose some functionality in the kitchen and bathrooms on random days, which is about as inconvenient as it gets.
I really want to start reading more. I go through spurts where I read for about a week or so, and then miss a day and don't read again for a month. Just need to stick to the habit for once.
Really want to watch the new "Euphoria" but HBO Now is down. I'm still slightly hungover and am just kind of counting down the time until sunset when I won't feel so bad about falling asleep.
It's been 5 months or so since I last posted here. I'm not sure why - I guess I just waffled in between "my feelings don't matter" and being just too lazy to get much of anything accomplished.
Work is...work. Our state director held a conference call with all management last week and said we're the worst-performing state in the West Zone (which pretty much includes every state from Texas up to the Dakotas and west of that). He was clearly ticked and mildly ranted for about 20 minutes, but said nothing constructive. No action plan, no directives, no real ideas, just a lot of superlatives in place of "do better". I guess I'll get started on that soon.
I never have any idea how well I'm doing. We're consistently being dressed down about whatever performance metric is struggling at that day and time, yet the vibe is this forced positivity that no one buys. I've been told, essentially, we're not meeting expectations at all. The work environment stinks. We can't keep anyone at this job longer than 2 years because the work is difficult and unless the office vibe is good, no one wants to work there. There's too much employment opportunity in the area to spend your days doing something that makes you unhappy.
...and then last week they gave me a bonus. Because, who the hell knows?
My health isn't great. I've gained somewhere between 10 and 15 pounds, primarily driven by my alcohol intake going up. I'm embarrassed to say that I drank 3 whole bottles of wine last night by myself, and didn't honestly get that drunk off it. I'm drinking excessively way too often, but it's my only coping mechanism. I got a massage today, which made me feel pretty good for around 90 minutes, then felt awful. Guess I should've drank more water.
My relationship is flimsy at best. She's gone to the doctor and was prescribed a new diet to help with a respiratory problem she's been having. The diet is pretty much she's not allowed to eat anything good anymore. Poultry and vegetables is pretty much the list of allowed foods. No dairy. No gluten. No carbs. No sugars. Her response to this was, and I quote, "You do most of the cooking, so you should get familiar with this." I didn't say hardly anything. What a crock of shit. I'm pretty much just going to start going out to dinner by myself and just saying I have to work late or something.
Plus, our apartment is being renovated this week which means we're going to lose some functionality in the kitchen and bathrooms on random days, which is about as inconvenient as it gets.
I really want to start reading more. I go through spurts where I read for about a week or so, and then miss a day and don't read again for a month. Just need to stick to the habit for once.
Really want to watch the new "Euphoria" but HBO Now is down. I'm still slightly hungover and am just kind of counting down the time until sunset when I won't feel so bad about falling asleep.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-15 01:38 pm (UTC)Have you been enjoying Euphoria? I haven't started yet and heard mixed reviews.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-15 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-07-15 05:23 pm (UTC)I kind of wondered about that with the previews.
no subject
Date: 2019-07-15 03:30 pm (UTC)I think it's very reasonable to tell your partner that you can't prepare everything with her restrictive diet!
I hope you get back on track with reading, what book are you reading at the moment?
no subject
Date: 2019-07-15 05:20 pm (UTC)